Hyok Kim
July 29, 2018
Hyok Kim

No media available


John 6:1-21


Jesus looks around and sees that a large crowd is coming to him, so he asks Philip, “Where can we buy enough food to feed all these people?” Then, he answers, “Lord, for everyone to have even a little, it would take more than two hundred silver coins to buy enough bread. We don’t have money to buy for them all. Just let them go and buy some food by themselves.” “And, frankly they have already got lots of free stuff – free ticket, free lecture, free medical care, and free miracle. But now free food? No! And we don’t have enough money to buy food for them all for free. Lord, that’s enough for them. But, . . . no more now.” His disciples have already calculated and counted in the speed of light how many people are there, and how much they should spend money for food, and how much they have. We know, the disciples just came back from the first mission. They didn’t even have time to eat. In fact, they have come here to rest and to eat, not to give them rest and buy them the free food. But, . . . the teacher askes them, “Where can we buy enough food to feed them all?” According to Mark’s gospel, Jesus also says, “You yourselves give them something to eat.” Then, Andrew answers, “Lord, I have found a boy, who has five loaves of bread and two fish. But, not good enough. Five breads and two fish only. Please, let them go to buy their own food.”

“Not enough yet for us. Not good enough to share.”  



Let’s see the next scene.

The disciples are in a boat, being terrified by the strong wind and raging waves. They are deeply afraid, being seized by the fear. In the fears, they see the one who is walking on the sea, and coming to them. They are so terrified, and cry, “A ghost!” They think it is a ghost. We know, he is Jesus, but they think it’s a ghost. Before taking a boat, they thought, Jesus was a miracle-worker, and also supposed to be a king.

But, now Jesus becomes a ghost to them. When they needed a miracle, Jesus should have been a miracle-worker to satisfy their needs, and when they needed a king, Jesus should have been a king to force their enemies to give in before them. But, now he becomes a ghost. When Jesus goes out of their sight, . . . . . . and when the evening comes, and it is getting dark, and a strong wind is blowing and stirring up the water, . . . and when Jesus is not here with them in their boat, and their rowing a boat does not work anymore, . . . and when their boat is still in the middle of the sea, . . . and the twelve baskets full of bread go out into the water, . . . and when the applause and acclamation that they have had from the huge crowd in the field are not heard anymore, . . . and when their anxieties and fears are coming to them and begins to overwhelm them, . . . and their anxiety drives them to the corner of the boat, the fear drives them to the edge of the boat. Then, they see Jesus a ghost.  



What kind of miracle-worker is Jesus? What kind of king is he? Is he a ‘out of sight, out of mind’ miracle-worker or king? What faith do they have in Jesus? Is it a sort of ‘out of sight, out of mind’ faith? It is Anxiety and Fear. Their Anxieties and Fears, have been their king, their miracle-worker, and their messiah. The anxiety drives them to look out for a miracle-worker, and the fear forces them to make someone a king for them. But, the anxiety and fear itself is a ghost that they see now in the middle of the sea. “It is Not enough for us. Give me more good news, more miracles, more signs. Give us more, give me more, give us some.” That is the ghost, Jesus said, that they have clung to until now. That is their anxiety that they have grabbed tightly for a long time, that is their ghost that they have been imprisoned for a long time.  


IV.                Jesus says, “No! It is I; I am. Don’t be afraid.” “I know, you followed me, because you had seen my miracles of healing the sick. I know, you are following me, because you have seen my miracles of feeding five thousand people. I know, you came to me for miracles, and you are coming to me for more miracles. And I know, you have lived a life of long-established anxiety and fear.” “But, now it is enough. Good enough for you to stop.” And he asks them and us to remember the twelve baskets, saying, “Is it still not good enough yet for you? Then, how many baskets will be good enough for you?” We can imagine that they might say, “Yes, it was enough yesterday. But, look at the sea. The wind is getting strong, the waves getting worse. The storm is coming. . . . Our boat is not big enough for us all. . . . And, we are still in the middle of the sea. We saw and ate the bread and the fish, and we kept the twelve baskets in the boat. But, they have been spoiled by the water and the rain. . . . We don’t know, how long the storm will be, how long we should be here in the middle of the sea. . . . And the land is so far away from here.”

“Not enough. Please give us more, more miracles, more signs, so that we may know you are God.”



But the gospel of Mark says us that, immediately Jesus speaks to them and says, “Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.” Then, Jesus gets into the boat with them, and the wind dies down. And, “they are completely astounded, because they do not understand about the loaves, but their hearts are hardened” (Mark 6:50-52). Their fear and anxiety blind them to the twelve baskets full; instead, keep them seeking for more baskets. It seems like, the twelve baskets are not full, . . . but empty to them. The twelve baskets full are not good enough yet for them to know who the Lord is.

In fact, they are not hungry for the food, but hungry for the fear and anxiety. For them, Jesus’ feeding the five thousand is just a miracle, just another sign to understand him a miracle-worker, or a prophet, or a king. They still live in their fear and anxiety. Not yet good enough for them. But, Jesus is saying, “It is I; I am. I am the Lord. . . . Is it still Not Good Enough for you? . . . Remember the twelve baskets full of God’s love, grace, and mercy. It is good enough for you, and for all. . . .” “You will see, how God’s bread of love and mercy is so abundant. I am the bread of life in abundance. I have filled my baskets full. And the Spirit also will fill God’s baskets. It is good enough for you. And, you will see what I am working through you, you are my baskets full.”

The miracle of feeding the five thousand began at the moment when the boy raised his hands and offered his own breads and fish to Jesus. The miracle of the five loaves and two fish began in unexpected moment and way that the crowd, and the boy, and even his disciples had never expected to happen. The power of God has been working in us, among us.  



One day, Mother Teresa of Calcutta asked of her abbess the permission that she could go out of the convent to serve and help the poor. She said, “Mother, I have seen them every day through my window. I hope to be with them and help them.” But, the abbess refused and said, “Sister Teresa, you cannot save them all.” And Teresa answered, “I cannot save them all. But, . . . . some of them.” She was not enough to save them all, the poor. However, she was good enough to save some. And, she did. And she left some baskets behind. And we know, the baskets have been made full more than she asked or imagined.

“The power of God, working in us, can do infinitely more than we can ask or imagine.” We will receive the bread of life today as we did last Sunday. Even it is not enough to eat alone. But, it is good enough to share God’s love and God’s life with others, and with our neighbor. 

Let us praise the Lord, and share the Lord with one another. Amen.